Toasted

2008-03-25T19:21:00.002+08:00

He is the very measure from which the world was fashioned, and his reality, though imperfect, is what makes his artwork perfect for such a world.

- Humanities Exam, January 2008

"Dapat lage happy!

The imperfection of the world is what makes it soo beautiful! Why spoil it with our gloom?! Just smile! Yeah!

Sige, ingat lage ah! Yeah yeah yeah!"

-My friend RJ, Friendster Testimonial
11/14/2006 7:38 pm

We all know he's probably up in heaven right now. I read his blog and some of his stuff seriously this time, pareho pa rin kami ng ideas.

I'll live up to it, don't worry. I'll make good use of this mind, don't worry.

Unli na Unli

2008-03-24T17:37:00.000+08:00

It's my 8th day of free unli. Naglolokong globe? Ayos.

An Ode

2008-03-20T15:12:00.004+08:00

They come and go... They come, because they wanted to, and they go... Because I let them go.

For all the things you have done for me, it would be unfair if my gratitude would be left unspoken. This is from someone who, amidst all the knowledge that has earned her merits, does not even know how to say thank you. I show my gratitude through this cowardice, otherwise known as blogging.

Claret interaction, October 2005. I have considered this event worthless. I found my self in the bathroom, amusing my self by looking at excited faces, anxious on the way they look. Those rich enough dabble pinches of blush on their cheeks, while the others just slap their faces. Nonetheless, they still all look the same. I looked at myself, and well, I don't give a damn. I just made sure I had nothing on my face, no trace of the food I last ate is good enough. It started off in an awkward fashion. My teacher was like the pimp, and we were all the commodities. Kidding. I waited for my turn, and I got seated between two males. The other one looked considerably well-polished, while the other looked like a character from Pugad Baboy. In preschool, I was picky enough to know whom I'll like to talk to. This time was not much different from preschool, I immediately turned to the one who looked more human, and he did the same. Preschool, ne? Blablabla. Maybe I just got lucky, I didn't really imagined myself to actually manage a conversation, nor was I really interested. Most of my classmates said they got a crush on him, well he wasn't really my designated partner but he turned out to be in the end. There were only a few hours left before they leave for the bus, so he asked for my number. I gave my e-mail. Blablabla. Finally, they were leaving. While there was chaos because of people fixing their bags, I caught a glimpse of him near the door, leaning on the wall. He scared me, I believe he waited for something or somebody--I didn't care. I went out of the room immediately to go upstairs. I am not polite enough to greet or even say goodbye to anyone, nor give someone I know a smile. I had a lot of people beside me, until I heard my name. It was just like in the movies--he went out of the room, I turned my back to see who just called. Even if there were a lot of people watching, he let out a pack of chocolates, and gave it to him... I knew there were a lot of eyes... and hissing... eh, I was stunned. Yes, perhaps shock is a normal human emotion, and so is being stunned. Although many might protest I am not human enough, ( I can almost hear you say, ikaw? Kinilig? Nagulat?) but it would be unfair to say if I didn't feel exactly that. I didn't like him, but I liked what he did.

Sometimes we talked over the net, but it wasn't usual, there was nothing special. I am not keen on those things. He amused me, though, he always had an air of over cooked self confidence, like calling himself HOT. I said I like cool people, so he said he's cool. And because he said he was hot, he liked a lot of girls, too. Funny, I liked girls, too! Haha! Kidding. Sort of. Anyway, he became a brother, and I his little sister. We really didn't talk often, we're even more of acquaintances than friends. When I told my friends the sad news of my grandpa's death, he sent messages that really did do their part. He explained things about death, how we should cheer up, and stuff like that. No wonder the term Acres and I coined up for him fits him perfectly--"Patay".

He died. Shortly after his 19th birthday. I didn't get to greet him, because he forgot to greet me on my birthday. I didn't invite him anyway, so, It's my fault, again. I never got to say thank you for helping me do my final book report in high school, it was his favorite book, by Leroux, which I worked on.

I didn't even had the chance to say good bye, I was busy with pointless, useless, schoolwork. I just texted him that day, to ask for prayers sa nalalapit na contest. And then a few minutes later, someone told me he's dead. I wasn't the one who needed prayers... It was him. Well then, goodbye, and thank you my friend. Your writings, although tragic, romantic, and happy, have always been very very good. You are a great writer. Well, you were.

Here's a video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8EssbF2lMvU") of him... Thanks to the source.
The hairs of my right arm are raising, and the wind is blowing smoothly. They say that at the peak of the Lenten Season, souls wander... I hope you're reading this.

Note:
People catch me often--staring at blank spaces. They say it makes me lose my nerve cells... but what they don't realize that these are moments when I am no where near stupid. These are moments I steal to catch a glimpse of life, I void my vision and listen to my mind.

In these moments, I think about so many things my stupid self won't even allow to exist, like death. Death is a mystery... a mystery worth knowing, but most of all, it is a mystery worth the wait.

This is from somebody, who, due to her own smallness, has mastered the art of making everything large scale.

Yearbook Character Sketch

2008-03-18T21:15:00.004+08:00

Marither is not who you think she is.

"Maree", her surreptitious alias, was born into an embryonic intelligence agency. Here she was honed with the entrapments; erudite to shape raw data into coherent and meaningful analysis.

She is highly trained in the arts and can knock a fly unconscious with one sweep of her brush. In Paris, she followed Van Gogh and studied with Cormon.

After this she studied at the Universidad Nacional in Bogota with Gabriel Garcia Marquez. They ate in cheap cafes, and associated with all the usual suspects: literate socialists, starving artists, and budding journalists.

"Maree" toured Asia as one of the secrets of Soviet espionage, mentored by Pavel Anatolievich Sudoplatov. After trekking through Asia posing as a Korean tourist, she was instructed to stay in the Philippines as part of an intricate international intelligence network.

Tall tales these may seem and most might smirk at this deliberate unfolding. This is all part of the great master plan, you see. She will never admit to such things and will proceed to her best imitation of a drooling ,nondescript teenager to mock such exuberant allegations. Yet what scares you is not that only a psychologically imbalanced person can write this testimony, but because most of the things written here are starting to make sense. You look at Marither and see that nothing is impossible.

____
I still feel the same irkiness I felt the first time I read this. This was done by my sis, after a week of bullying, she only managed to write something for me 5 minutes before I went to school. The first 3 paragraphs don't define me, it describes my sister more. Don't you think so? "starving artists" --no no, It just can't be me. Anyway, it's weird. And weird is... quite good.

Dreams

2008-03-18T20:37:00.003+08:00

I remember, Dr. Clai (now dean of CASE), once asked us to make a dream book. What would you be, 10 years from now... I don't exactly remember what's in it, though I remember Eunice's laugh upon hearing the name Won Bin... I want to read it again, but Doc Clai asked for it, so it's no longer with me. It'd be interesting to see how much I've accomplished, just after 2 years...

Dream... is such a dreamy word. It sounds like food, or perhaps because I equate the word with food.

When I was still ~~small~~ a kid, I used to dream a lot. I didn't get the things I wanted, I had to do a lot of things before I could lay my hands on a cake brought from the market. Yes, that's how far my dreams could dare thread. I dreamed of a lot of things, but looking back, I can say they were all achievable. Those impossible were my wishes, not dreams. To make it simpler, I dreamt low.

I started my preschool with a lot of merits. I had good grades--but everyone had good grades when they were still innocent. I had awards--but everyone had awards of all sorts. It wasn't much of a distinction, it was just normal. I still remember the day when my mom held my hand as we took my report card from my advisers. The kid before me, Gloria, received a year-end award. Because it seemed all too normal, my mom followed their example and let out her hand. My teachers gave nothing. It was the 90's, everyone had their fluffy bangs on, and my mom's probably fell stiff at that moment. I wanted to say sorry, I knew, at such a very young age, I have disappointed my mom. I think, she never expected anything from me anymore. That's probably the reason why they don't encourage us to reap awards, expectations could lead into frustrations. Better start with none.

Because of that, I drooled over awards. It was enough for me to at least get close to an average of 88 when I was in grade school, and I did. I only got the diploma after grade school, so this time, I drooled over becoming an honor student. I did. As a sophomore student, all I ever wished for was to have a year end award. You know, year end awards mean that you never missed a quarter without being part of the honor roll. And I did. When I was in third year, all I ever wanted was to be part of the top ten... of the batch. And I did. I ranked 7th. In fourth year, all I ever wanted was to graduate with honors. And I did. I was part of the "honorable" mention (don't start arguing about the term honorable..), and I also topped the class. I never dreamt of topping the class.

Graduating with honors was just a far fetched dream, until it came true. College era, well, I dreamt of being part of the Dean's List, and I never did.

However, I became part of the President's List, and I even topped college once. Shet. Perhaps my wish of becoming a Suma Cum Laude is not far behind... Now, I make it a dream.

Cause you know, dreams do come true.

To Jojo

2008-03-17T17:29:00.005+08:00

There was silence.

The semi bald, archipelago headed professor passed smoothly, his big, gay-betraying body swam through the humid, maggot-riddled hell.

Jojo just entered the cafeteria. He was about to fill his plate with the food he usually pigs out on. Then he went to another place to buy refreshments. This time, he saw us.

Yes, he saw Palad and I, his past slaves. Oh yes, we were more than happy to be his slaves, who wouldn't enjoy listening to every word of gayness that flies out of his mouth? But because of lack of time, or probably just being stubborn, I failed to attend to his calls. I couldn't look at him in the eye anymore, I owe so much, he used to praise me. My paperworks in high school could not even merit high grades. I was so used to 7 over 10, or 20 over 25 over some formal manuscripts. But he, (or she) being an ultra laitera, gave me more than perfect, and even showed my essay to the goddess author herself. Now, however, everything's just about being civil, no longer casual.

Jojo saw us, and being the graceful and manner-laden swan (or duck) he believes himself to be, let out a flying kiss.

Kinilig at nandiri si Palad at the same time. I was shocked--could that be his famed kiss of death? Is he the face behind the dementor's cloak? Shet. I wish I was back in the good ol' days. He is, undoubtedly, the best professor I ever had. A pity that I ended it this way.

A day after...

I read my friend's entry about the very same person... I admit, my friend and I were treated differently. While she held onto her "unrequited love" (haha), I just brushed it aside. Anyway, it's all useless now. But given a chance, I'll trade my minors to suffer all over again, just for the sake of learning. Yes, it was only in his/her class I took pride in learning. My style of writing, which I regret to say is now suffering technical ailments, is still very much what he/she has molded it to be. An flirtatious beginning, and a crisp, solid, impaktong ending. Yes, that was what we all had--a flirtatious start, and a very very solid end. Cheers.

Hey 2008

2008-03-17T16:58:00.003+08:00

I am so sorry my dear blog, you have been dead for how many months now. I am sorry, because I forgot you dear old password.

It's 2008, and it started with a blast. It is also officially the end of my 2nd sem in Nursing, I shall be third year soon after summer. And I still look like a high school student, only that I turned out to look like that moon-faced houris present in paradise... You do know that the moon has a lot of craters, right?

Let me see, my first semester was quite boring, it was purely studies and a little of intrams. Every night I went home very late, because we were all required to be part of the pep squad. Let's forget about that--I have little memories about it.

Now, second year, second sem. Yes, I will never forget this period. It was life changing, and life stopping. I thought I'd be simply rocking my boat since majority of my subjects were just minor courses. It started with Red Cross Training, and I learned how to revive people through CPR. Just that weekend, my grandpa was gone. He was 74. My number in red cross was 74. He died of CP Arrest. Yeah, my world stopped... I do not know how to handle death, nor do I know how to comfort those left behind, when I know I am also in need of such comfort. My classes no longer seemed important to me, I slept through some, and even didn't smile at all. Christmas came, even if it didn't feel like the usual holiday, my birthday came, it didn't feel like I was 18 at all. New Year came, hey, are you sure 2007's over?

Unfortunately, some professors, even with my great sulk, discovered what I am partly capable of. They joined me in some UP contest, which involved case studies. I'm so sick of it already, I won't tell you about it. Just look at my multiply photos. They say a picture says a thousand words, so why don't you let those photos describe you each irritating detail, okay? Yah, I enjoyed, I learned, but sorry, I still don't know what team work means. And people are just lucky, because I don't complain. But that's dangerous, I am very dangerous when I'm silent, you just don't know what plans I have. I have plans of leaving, because a once-in-a-lifetime experience like this is more than enough to happen just once. Anyway, I am very much grateful to all of them, they made me forget whatever it is I am mourning for... I even forgot I was supposed to mourn over the death of a good friend. Now, that's really bad.

We had a concert. My highschool friends would be shocked to know that I didn't perform on stage. That's why I didn't invite you anymore, I don't want you to be disappointed. Oh, I did the unusual things. Like fix some problems, design this, design that, do this avp, do those lights, attend even if there's nothing to do, bla bla, bla bla, bla. Sorry, I am nothing near conventional, common, and usual. Although our concert went perfectly fine, I could say I am content in saying I didn't touch any concept they had, cause it really is very much different from what I could have imagined it to be. If I weren't busy in Dialogos, baka hindi ko mapigilan ang pagpapatupad ng mga kapenguinan kong kalokohan dun. For those who know me and my ideas, you know I can show you what creative and innovative and fun means. I'll fly soon anyways, and I'll spread my midget germs else where.

I finally bought some books a while ago. Perhaps, mababalik na ang aking creative juices. I lost my creative writing skills somewhere, napalitan kasi ng technical words eh. Hay, I am changing a lot, and it's not that good. That's the end of 2007-2008 folks, just browse my multiply to see pictures. It was fun, believe me.

How Much is Zero?

2008-03-17T16:43:00.002+08:00

Earlier, I managed to read a line on the newspaper saying that there was zero crime rate yesterday as Pacquiao fought Marquez. The zero crime rate has been a trend each time Pacquiao takes the bloody center stage. A lot of those inspired by his bloody English say that Pacman is capable of bringing the nation together, unifying the country each time he faces his own debacle. "I thanks the God"

I doubt this. It could be that people were too busy watching that they didn't notice crimes. Or, people were way too ecstatic that they did not even consider the definition of a crime... Or...

I don't believe Pacquiao, although undoubtedly the best boxing champ at present, curbs crimes. Those who watch him, even with tons of advertising eye sores, throw their unpadded fists in the air every time the Filipino punches his opponent. Those who watch him are charged with the same anger, and are fueled by the same adrenaline as is present in Mandalay Bay. Those who watch him throw vulgar verbal assaults, probably more than what Pacquiao could even think of. Those who watch him pay bets of mysterious origin. It is the same thrill, the same excitement you get out of crimes, only that it's not actually you who's receiving equally heavy blows. Boxing is boxing--it has the same elements of a brutal crime, only that it is made legal due to belts at stake, or probably because of the millions of dollars associated with it. Well, anything in this world could be assumed right as long as it can be made to appear as acceptable... ehem, financially acceptable.

Anyway, good or bad, I still enjoy watching Pacquiao. I feel as if I'm the one fighting--it's a good feeling. :D I'm the kind of person who'll want to punch somebody so bad... and I'll end up forgetting everything, aside from the fact that I can't even punch.

Nah, this is a nonsensical entry. Just want to offer some entry to my old class' past idol.

Buhay Ka Pa Ba Ako?

2007-07-20T18:37:00.000+08:00

Here's a relatively short but not concise summary of what has transpired in my first 2 months in my second year.

Anaphysio Blues
In order to assess correct medical actions, nurses should know which part is which. No, there is no Pubic Bone within the Femur (whoever said that in my class. haha).
It has seemed as if Anaphysio is my only subject, for I have been reading the book just about every night. Self study is the only thing that keeps me alive, and I take my sleep and recharge during the class itself.

PL and DL Blues
They announced that I was DL, so I took the certificate with a face so sullen.
Period.

APEP
There's this academic p... e.... program wherein departmental geniuses are selected (forced unknowingly) to teach your fellow schoolmates. Other activities would be joining contests, exposure trips to UPLB, UP... bla bla (shucks nakauniform? oh nos).
Yah, I'm included, but they didn't tell me. Surprise pa ata gusto nila. Math, Science and English. My gosh, I can barely find a time for my self, so I guess I'll just be absent in the meetings if possible. :D

*update more soon*

Dinadaga

2007-06-10T20:18:00.000+08:00

Pagbaba sa hagdanan may nakasabay akong daga. Nagmamadali pa itong magtago sa elepanteng statwa.

Pagakyat sa hagdanan naroon pa rin ang kaluskos ng daga. Pagkakita ko nasa may taas na siya ng matangkad na lampara. Dali dalian kong inakyat ang hagdanan at baka ito tumalon sa akin. Minasdan ko siya dahil gusto ko malaman kung paano siya makakababa. Madali lang pala. Hindi siya nagdive. Parang nagparachute landing na wala namang parachute.

Sa kasamaang palad hindi siya namatay. Nagtago ulit sa elepante.

RATED !3!

2007-06-08T22:47:00.000+08:00

MY GAHD!!! WHADDA HELL IS HAPPENING?! The decency of my friends is waning... Don't let my respect go away as if it has never existed.

*Acre, you better inquire about this, hahaha, pure entertainment :D, lingerie style.*

Ferran Adria

2007-06-06T15:09:00.000+08:00

On Anthony Bourdain's show, Anthony Bourdain Decoding Ferran Adria.

Watching this chef's show on travel and living is a great way to let time pass upto your next meal.
I have only three great loves: Art, which I'm blessed to quite control, Science, Which I'm forced to understand, and FOOD, which takes 70 percent of my brain.

And for those of you who do not know, Bourdain is the thin grey-haired chef in travel and living.

He started the show by stating that Ferran Adria, the featured chef, is STRANGE - as if he created food from another planet.

*Ferran Adria is owner of the best restaurant in the world, El Bulli*

I saw everything that was shown with all my four eyes. Bourdain's right, there's just nothing great enough to compare with it.

"Then it was time for the meal which was just mind-blowing. You get up to 32 courses over 5 hours in a restaurant which has 55 chefs and 55 seats. Each course is barely a mouthful or two but each one is amazing in execution." - Conor, (http://conoroneill.com)

Apple and mango caviars, Cotton Candy Fish, Vanishing Pies, Carbonara na nanggaling sa tubes, Carrot Air, Chocolate Soil - SHET!

Kahit experiments pa yan, itataya ko ang buhay ko at ang stomach ko makain ko lamang yan!

Someday, PUPUNTAHAN KO YANG EL BULLI! Yeah, I will head off to Barcelona, even if the owner's already dust. (Wag naman sana)

Search for Feran Adria!

List

2007-06-04T16:19:00.001+08:00

A second attempt of wants.

Satisfy the id. It's WANT WANT WANT for me .

Someday I shall...

47. ~~Start thinking about a business! Who're willing to help? :P~~

46. I'm turning eighteen, and the only two things that concern me on reaching it is the legality of playing LOTTO, and the end of my hopes on getting taller.
Because of this very, very sad event (HAHA), I'm going to help you decide on my birthday present! :)
a. ~~Get me Sonja's CUpcakes!~~
b. Get me Conan's (my red canon camera) accessories
b.1 Rechargeable batteries
b.2 Charger
b.3 Lithium Energizer Batts
b.4 Tripod
b.5 Lanyard
b.6 Cam Case
b.7 Matching pretty/papable subject to shoot (hahah! don't go serious with this one, I can shoot myself) Just get me a new cam! hahaha
c. ~~Bench undergarments (THIS ONE ENTIRELY FOR ERIKA ILAGAN! She wants to share, so I just take and take. HAHAHA meron ba yung parang may poopoo design?)~~
d. Fabric Paint Materials!
e. ~~Art materials? x_x~~
f. Cute accessories na lang.
g. A new watch. This one rusting.

KAPAL KO. OO ALAM KO.

45. Receive my first five commissions. (You know, those orders you get when someone wants you to draw something esp. in deviantart.)

44. ~~Get new glasses and contacts.~~

43. ~~DC to AC canon charger. Or reliable batteries. Damn, the charge poofs easily.~~

42. ~~I need acrylic paint.~~

41. I want lunchboxes like those you see in korean and japanese flicks.

40. ~~I want to make these!!!!!!! Kapag may oven kayo, let me in!! (your house. haha) If you ever see them... please buy it for me :)~~

39. ~~I want a japanese-themed party!~~

38. ~~I WANT A PAPERDOLL CHARMED NECKLACE! hahahah DARN. I was supposed to make a necklace out of the earrings I saw in greenhills. But dog, I can't find my pesos.~~ thanks bianx!

37. Design clothes and get them done! it's casual wear, stupid. I'll only wear a gown when Acre gets married... after two ice ages. (Peace my babe. Haha)

36. Make a more colorful blog output.

35. Think of ideas for bday

34. get one hundred birthday wishes on my next birthday!

33. ~~Have a jewelry box. hahaha~~

32. have a photo gallery cum exhibit

31. Make a poppy color photo collage once I have my cam

30. ~~Mabigyan ako ni acres na "baygon"~~

29. Masurprise sa Birthday ko! hahaha, kunwari. Pero alam ko na. Nakakinggit si Kat. Haha

28. ~~Mag Enchanted Kingdom muli! Weeeeee. asa.~~

27. Have new, almost invisible rims for my eyeglasses. My mom told me to change it. I'm still waiting for my money.

26. meet ta! before sumikat.

25. Wardrobe change! Haha. Joke lang. Para lang 25. :D

24. Have swimming lessons first! Learn how to dive.

23. It's not going to happen. I'm going to change my path. The future remains to be sought... :)

22. Have someone to sing for me all the time, without me asking. haha.. but it better be worth it.

21. Meet RAMON THE PENGUIN. I love him. Happy Feet!

20. Have 5 flat ones.

19. ~~Have perfect midterms and final exams.~~

18. ~~Get my hands on my own digicam. I gotta have it. I can't start painting without clicking the art away with my own name under it.~~

17. Learn advanced swimming.

16. Celebrate my birthday with my real friends... No secrets, just friends.

15. Sleep at 8 o clock at an ordinary school day.

14. Grow a few inches.

13. ~~Have my own jacket. To keep my hypothermic body alive.~~

12. Have my own pug someday!

11. Eat Sonja's Cupcakes!!! at serendra... haha demanding... naglalaway eh

10. ~~Eat a fondant cake. Hahaha~~

9. Get my hands on clean! shower fresh...

8. ~~Have my own starbucks planner!~~

7. Make it to the president's list again!!!! > THIS ONE FOREVER.

6. ~~Make it to the President's List~~

5. ~~Drink gallons of Toffee Nut Latte~~

4. Outplay Sir Castro. :)

3. Build a house

2. Learn how to play the drums. Haha

1. Have my own drumset.

Is there money in Art?

2007-05-26T23:05:00.000+08:00

I guess there is, but I haven't found it yet. There's this deep hunger for earnings, but it isn't ulcer yet. I have been sick, addicted, and crazy drawing very simple sketches... for what?

For added eye strain? For continuous headaches? For intellectual deviation? For missed PBB sessions?

It's just nasty. My eyes are all worn out. I'm even having difficulty focusing, hope it's not worse. I have drawn eba, jasmine, mulan and archie. They're now "digitally" ready.

Belle, Rapunzel (nasty name, really), Illusen, Legolas, Peter Petrelli and Batman will join them soon.

I'll lure customers some day... but maybe not this time. Too stubborn to even start my portfolio.

And acres, where art thou?

Work and Toil - Banned

2007-05-25T16:03:00.000+08:00

It's summer time and I haven't posted anything.

I can't think of something sensible even though I've got so many minutes void of work. Spending them on popping thought bubbles is a good idea, not to mention its neurotic homicidal effects. Scratching my head, my knees, and my shoulders are also effective finger exercises.

In short, summer is non productive. I have had my summer class, and soon after my release I started painting. They look cartoony and dreamy as always. Sheesh. Find them at http://dycabarit.deviantart.com

But because of low page views (non subscription entails zero fanlisting. haha) I decided to do something less time consuming, and less pigment spending. So, I shifted to my kinder ways - doing KIDDIE CARTOONS!!! WEEE! and I hope I do not get kiddie payments for it.

Besides from that, I have a pending hand out collection to read about anatomy and physiology. Oh yeah so thick and so small a font. Nasty. Haven't started yet.

I have been living as a buff. I wake up at noon, eat taho, eat lunch, exercise (YEAH I DO THAT FOR 15 MINUTES), take a bath, draw, and dream.

I'm plannin to start a midget sized online business. Art related. If you want me to draw anything for you, (and you do know I can draw anything, yes, even your butt) I will do it . Haha! Good for gifts, web sites, projects, tshirts, tattoos, uhh... whatever.

Ahkey,,, back to business.

One Look Lang

2007-04-28T23:15:00.000+08:00

The net is indeed filled with pornography. As my good ball Palad would have said, the internet helps in the nourishing of a pornographic memory. Hahaha
Last time I looked, Photographic memory was the only term I knew.

I was browsing some pictures until some revealing photos popped my eyeballs out of its cave. Actually, the eyeballs almost committed suicide; they were my "friend's" photos.

Due to this occurence, I have led to a mini, scatterbrain hypotheses regarding advertising your body out loud.

Obviously, they do not know the hazards the net could bring. It is more inviting than the mental institution who offers you free lodging. The net is more open than your mouth whenever you watch Sam Milby on your TV set.

It lead my other friends to ask, why not do the same? It's all the rave right now, why not wear a bikini and show your fried chickens to the rest of the web world? Haha! (Palad, yours will make anyone salivate profusely... PYESTA!)

The answer is: I do not need to show some skin, I'm not tired of my face yet. And I don't think I will. That should be your conviction, too, Acres. Hahaha!
The skin shouldn't compensate your exhausted appreciation for your dire face. Just because you cannot squeeze anything juicy from that pretty face it doesn't mean it's tiring to look at. Vanity kills. Yah, it may kill your reputation.

Pagod ka na ba sa iyong mukha? Pagod na rin ba sila? E di shirt mo ay ilaglag na at ipakita na ang pampalaglag mata! Honestly, I've seen a lot of my friend's stuff, the photos are similar even if they do not know each other. They were in their room, and had photo galore fit only for the beach, the pool, or for a luau party.

I wonder what part next? Tenenen... Abangan... I wanna see their feet... Kelsey said she wants to see armpits. I hope they feature those next.

New Haircut

2007-04-28T23:07:00.000+08:00

Yay. Three thumbs down. I had my hair cut a while ago by a gay named Cris at Azta. The stylist I was looking for flew to the States already. Aww.

I look very Oriental. I will not name nationalities, they might be offended. Haha!
I think I look like Astroboy... oh no, that's Japanese ne?

Q: Maganda ba hair mo?
A: Mabango.

Q: Pwede patingin ng bagong mukha?
A: Buhok lang ang nagbago. Hindi ako nanghihiram ng mukha

I smell strawberry. Hmmmmm

And yeah, I have been BANGED.

Politicking

2007-04-24T18:44:00.000+08:00

Will you rid of the pork barrel?

"Kelangan natin ng proper body, to utilize proper utilization."

Do you agree on the banning of Incandescent Lights and replace them with Compact Fluorescent Lights?

"We need to see if it causes skin cancer."

Mga kababayan, Cesar Montano, para sa senado =D

Online Grades

2007-04-13T18:35:00.000+08:00

Dati, nakakita ako ng isang President's Lister na ang grade ay 1.25...
At nursing pa ata ang course niya.

Sabi ko noon sa kasama ko, may bago na akong pangarap, ngunit mukhang napakahirap abutin. 1.34 kasi average ko noon.

Ang pamangkin ng ninong kong pari ay ang second highest sa lahat ng courses sa UST. Accounting major siya, at ang kanyang average ay 1.17.

Ito nga pala ang resulta ng isang sem na... "Pag-aaral."

Revelation in the New
Testament: 1.00
Writing in the discipline: 1.25
Pagsulat sa Filipino: 1.75
Politics, Government and
Constitution: 1.25
Philosophy of Man: 1.00
Chemistry Lecture 1.00
Chemistry Laboratory 1.00
Physics Lecture 1.25
Physics Laboratory 1.25
Paulthenics 1.00
PE 1.25

Bumaba ako. Nung midterms, 1.0 average ko. Pero lahat ay nasa finals.
My final average is 1.18. But I don't know if pasok ako sa PL because of Filipino.
Pray pray.

The Guardian

2007-04-13T18:16:00.000+08:00

Summer classes mean summer outfits. I mean, banned summer outfits. Students are allowed to wear whatever they want as long as it's not sleeveless, backless, see-through, plunging, or revealing in any way. Shorts are scene as obscene and totally nun-chaotic.

I will wear anything as long as it's not the uniform. The uniform is too revealing - it lets every eye know from which school cafeteria I dine in everyday.

For this day, I have decided to change my pants into short pants. It's the usual thing I wear... it can be called capri but it doesn't look that way because it isn't maong. The hell, I have entered the school for so many times wearing the same understuff.

So, this little monster went down from her red revo to enter the back gate. She hops there with monstrous, unfixed hair, without even a trace of fear. The guards recognize her, who wouldn't with her red rimmed glasses?

I have passed that portal so many times now donning those short pants. I have used it to get my grades, pass subjects, enroll myself, meet teachers, do some projects - I have literally abused the thing.

Then just this very day, sinita ako ng guard na babae na katulad ko, hindi pa nakapagsusuklay.

G: Miss... bakit ka nakashorts.
M: Miss... hindi po ako nakashorts.
G: Ang ano mang mas maikli sa pants ay shorts.
M: Ows. Hindi naman to shorts eh.
G: Bakit ba hindi kayo makaintindi? Ayan o ang tagal tagal nang nakapost na no shorts allowed, student man or not.
M: (Bigla kong naalala ang mga lalaking nakikita ko na ang mga kadiring ginubat na binti at mga babaeng may chocolate hills for a knee... at ang inisip ko na rin kung bakit ngayon lang ako sinita) Ang tagal ko na po itong sinuot, hindi niyo po ako sinita. It's still below the knee. It's called capri pants, short pants.... *lakad papalayo*

What's the sense makapag debate sa akin? Haha napakamagalang ko nga kanina hindi pa ako sumasagot sa kanya. Hindi makaintindi? Shall I flash my grades to you? Shall I show you my pictures wearing the same "shorts" for several times?

Quote for the day: Ang ano mang mas maikli sa pants ay shorts.

Twisted

2007-04-03T22:42:00.000+08:00

There's no other fitting word to describe the world I'm in.

I feel derived, I feel inferior, I feel dumb.

It sounds garbage, but I can now say I'm literally stunted.

There's no more intellectual growth happening in this mind of mine. To the pits.
You see, everything is substandard. I'm supposed to learn, PEOPLE!

While most of you may think that this mind of mine is too narrow and closed, and that college is all about self-help, let me tell you this:

Is this what college is supposed to feel like?
Yes, it's supposed to be dim, rock-hard and intense... And the only tension I feel is when I learn nothing. I am petrified knowing that the thousands my parent's pay go to literally nothing but fat pockets.

If this is a gateway to a good future, how can I ever tell it apart from what is to happen? If the present is atrocious enough for me, will there be a fairy tale loophole of some sort?

I suck at making decisions. I think I've felt more brainy years back, even if I got squattered grades. I actually learn nothing, I'm just going to school for the sake of finishing the race, no mater how chicken or cow or rhino it will be. *what?*
I'm just schooling to decorate my transcript with nicely printed flat numbers. And I get zero pride in doing so.
No matter how I explain to people my standing, it will never compare to the failing marks you get in UP, or even in other schools. I can never boast to people that I'm part of this "university", I will never even sing to the raspy tune of "My goal... as a ~~Paulinian~~ is this..."

To cut it short, I hate it. I hate everything. That's the main reason for eventual depression. I crave for professors who actually lord over a foreign world... I actually drool over my present classes. My current professors know more than I do... but of course, they should, given their AGES and their degrees, but that's all they have.

The only thing that keeps me going is that...

I know after some years, this wouldn't matter so much anymore, that all fussing would end.

I just mourn over my capacity to grow (intellectually)... (and physically na rin).

Which reminds me, all this I feel with an innate artsy side... My humanity yearns for all that is ideal...

And then suddenly, Reality pulls you back to earth.

So, ano nangyari?

Big Surprises

2007-04-02T22:43:00.000+08:00

We all agreed to go at the same time to enroll. Amongst all of them, I knew only Barbi would arrive at the exact time. And they did.

We called Palad... and this is what we heard...

"Kasalukuyan pong natutulog ang mahal na princesa... (With hideous snores as the background.)"

If only the automatic answering machine could respond... I would have asked...

"Princesa ng ano?"

Saving 100 percent

2007-03-31T18:38:00.000+08:00

My two-week vacation officially "started" last Friday, March 23, 2006. For everyone else (except for some of my friends), it was as if the heavens have opened for them.

(Oo, kinukuha na raw sila)

For me, the FINAL TEST has just begun.

(Pero at present tapos na. Inaaway yung sariling sinasabi e no)

I got an 88 from my Filipino exam. Eighty-eight as my final grade for my Filipino subject. And the lowest possible grade necessary for the mighty "President's Lister" title is 90. That means I only qualify for the lower Dean's List.

(Low kasi 50 percent tuition fee lang mapupunta sa akin. That's why I'm sour)

I could not just stuff it into my heart. There is zero space for acceptance. All my grades are 96 to 100... TAPOS, 88?!

My God, since when did a frilly Filipino class get hell harder than my Chemistry and Physics combined?

Well, sa nun-runned St. Paul, walang imposible!

And so I begged my Filipino teacher to give me any project hard enough for me. Any presentation that could give me the two points.

The hell, FILIPINO was the only subject I prepared for the whole month! I made some notes, studied night and day... pero daym, you just got to believe in magic. While you painfully watch your mates pass with joy, beaming at their miraculous scores, you just sulk in the corner thinking what was wrong.

My eighty-eight grade didn't eat my pride though, I did not wallow in the sins of both the eyes and the flesh... >:)

(Hindi ako katulad nila.)

So, I told my professor that I'd prepare videos to be used as teaching aids for her next classes. (Swerte ng mga galunggong na yun)

She just told me, "It better be super nice."

(At sinong matinong taong nakakakilala sa akin ang nakaaalam ng kahulugan ko ng SUPER NICE?)

I guaranteed my whole life to her that it'd be really nice, so that she won't be shocked.

(Videos pa? Ako bang kinakausap niya?)

With two days left, I had to gather all my sources and prepare eight videos for each module. EIGHT QUALITY, DEATH-DEFYING CREATIVE VIDEOS.

SO I technically did not have enough sleep, and I spent my supposedly sleeping+eating+bumming early mornings to finish my life savers.

Can you imagine the topics?
Module 1: Pinagmulan ng Wika.
Module 2: Pagpapalawak ng Bokabolaryo
Module 3: Pagbasa
Module 4: Pagsasaling Wika
Module 5: Pagsulat
Module 6: Pagbasa at Pagsulat sa Iba't Ibang Disiplina
Module 7: KOrespondensya Opisyal
Module 8: Pananaliksik

It took some severe squeezing before I finally produced some ideas for these. I finished them on time and my professor congratulated me. I just don't know what that means. Perhaps, a ninety?

(Malamang kapag hindi squeeze ko rin brains niya)

I posted them sa You Tube... So that you'd know what SUPER NICE means. :)

Shabbyness

2007-03-27T21:30:00.000+08:00

I do remember that I have once expressed my curses about cheating in one of my long dead blogs.

Once again, I shall post another one. I know that up until I finish my education, there shall be more and more of these coming. That problem will never be erased, as long as there are desperate students.

Kapit sa numero.

Cheating is not my thing. Yes, it's normal - for you. But I view those who indulge in this life-saving act as stupid people. And this has a history...

A professor entered the room with the ~~death certificates~~ examination papers. Of course, every educator knows that there would be a whole lot of cheating commotion. They know that the students spent their nights not in studying for the exam, but spent their midnight oil devising a way to pass the exams...
OO, SA PAGSAMBA AT PAGBENTA NG KALULUWA KAY SATANAS. Magkano kaya?
Anyway, the professor is much, much smarter than the students. He left the room, yet no one, as in magkawaterfalls man sa pawis ang mga students, no one cheated.

Heaven.
That's because he left with these words:
"Sige magcheat kayo. Pero isa lang ibig sabihin noon, BOBO kayo. Wala kayong alam eh. Kaya kukuha ka na lang ng sagot."

Well, now we know matatalino ang mga students niya.

Perhaps half of this world of mine (the other half is entirely alien... si acres, si jhumhee.. may new addition sa monster world... si palad... :D) knows that I managed to be a President's Lister.

Sa buong batch namin, at buong nursing for this year, I was the only one who made it beyond the Dean's List, given the fact that all the terminator-teachers were "bestowed" upon us (Precy, 2007). May bago pala, ako lang din naka uno sa hawak ng chemical master naming si Ms. Pordan. (Hanga ako at napatuto niya sa kin kung ano talaga ang mole.Thanks a billion, miss)

I have bragged my standing only to my closest friends, pero it managed to go as far as the whole Nursing batch. (Kaya pala may nakatitig sa akin pag dumadaan ako, akala ko naliliitan lang sila sa akin o naaakit sa pula kong salamin)
They may call me BOASTFUL, but then I can only say one thing

THE HELL I'M PROUD OF IT.

Nakatulong ako sa tuition fee ko without clinging on to devilish works.

Sa mga hindi nakakaalam, naka29 over 50 ako sa Filipino, and that put my PL line in grave danger. Gumawa ako ng eight videos.... within 2 days and nights... just to get the grade I want. IN short, I worked damn hard for it. At sana makasabit.

Wala lang. I just want you to work hard for it, too. Have a taste of the literal meaning of HONOR, not shame.

School Blues

2007-03-05T20:05:00.000+08:00

I know that every human is intrinsically imperfect, but I didn't expect all of them to have social problems. It's unfortunate to be part of a circle that is mighty, capable, and supposedly great... and yet they do things that make them incomplete and lowlier than what they really are.

Too much talks, I can see beneath through your mouth. It traced so much of a hole.

Papansin

2007-02-28T19:32:00.001+08:00

Sa pagsusuring ginawa ko sa aking sarili, ngayon ko lang napuna ang mga kinahihiligan ko unconsciously.

Napansin ko lang na ang wardrobe ko ay puro brown. Puro kulay kape. Kita mo na, wala pa palang saling Tagalog ang brown. Oo na, mahilig ako sa kulay tae.
At sinusuot ko pa pala ang kulay tae.

Napansin ko rin na mahilig akong tumingin ng wardrobes sa mga mall ng kahit anong may kinalaman sa black and white na makakapal na stripes. Napansin ko na wala ako nun dahil napansin ko rin na walang laman ang aking pitaka.

Mahilig rin pala ako sa checkered na bagay, maliban sa aking uniform na pwede nang ipalit sa table cloth sa isang carinderia. Ooh, I belong.

Natutuwa ang mata ko kapag nakakakita ng paper dolls na shape, maliban sa mismong paper doll. Ang labo talaga ng mata ko.

Wala pa kong masyadong matandaan, ngunit alam kong marami iyon. Pag napansin ko na ay hahabaan ko ito.

(Patalastas sa telebisyon: Daniel Radcliffe may standing ovation sa paghuhubad.)

Isip habang tulala

2007-02-28T19:20:00.000+08:00

Para matanggap mo na maliit ka, isipin mo na lang na inversely proportional ang utak mo sa height mo.

Sa ganitong paraan, masisiyahan ka na sa pagiging nugget-cute.

Confidence...

2007-02-12T00:13:00.000+08:00

Can confidence be bought? Even if I had the money, it would still be very difficult to possess.

Can it be gained easily as advertised? A resounding no. Material things, at the moment you buy it, shy it's luster away and fade.
(And when you use it, it would really seem like dust. Haha)

I lack confidence. (I see people throwing tomatoes at their screens. See, AT THEIR SCREENS. That proves that I do lack the big C, since there's still the screen that hides me from all this.

Here's the puzzle, if you're confused, then let heavens rejoice, and earth be glad, for I will never sing. (Ano raw?) That's my goal, to always confuse you and satisfy my self-understanding.

If you happen to know me through any school activity, then you do know that I am not shy.

But that's completely worthless.

I practically give a chunky 80 percent of my efforts to the things I excel in. That's the point.

Confidence is not found in doing the things you are GREAT in. (Do not deny.)

You are already an expert for blah's sake, there's a measly probability that you'll do any wrong, that's why it isn't anything to be proud of.

On the other hand, confidence is found in the essence of harder things.

It is in doing what's IMPOSSIBLE for you to do. That's confidence. Of course, it would take a great kilo of guts and a mile thick face to do something you obviously can't. And that's when praise and all glorification should begin.

And this isn't a Feminine wash advertisement, or a you-go-girl campaign. It's just a reality check.

*Another sudden gush of walalanglity, an outpour of ruthless thoughts entered my brain while washing my face, just before going to sleep. And I'm done. ZZZZzzzZZZ.

Know me. Stupid.

2007-01-21T20:43:00.000+08:00

Which one do you think is better?

What you positively want to believe in unfolds to be a devastating lie...

Or...

Thinking that it was at first an imposed negativity will eventually be the greatest
mistake you've ever made?

Life at first is unfair to those who are immediately judged. One of the greatest, and at the same time frailest statements I have heard were all about first impressions.

Everything was wrong.
And I am wrong to wear such a smile-denied face. Or maybe, you were just unworthy of such a great sight. (Nyaha)

So this entry is all about me. Again. As always. And it's my blog.

Every piece of letter I have received evaporated to a single thought. They showcased a series similar to this root line:

"Akala ko hindi tayo magkakasundo. Akala ko masama ka OR masungit ka."

I am masungit. I am masama. I may not like you at all. I am not one of those who squeeze themselves in public. IF you want to belong to my happily exclusive world, then you must accept all my flaws, just like me accepting all your deficiencies. (Told you, it's all fair for me. Evil and evil go together.)

But again, there's this touching part in the end...

"I was wrong. You were such a great blessing from God..."

Did you think the same?

It was only then I realized I was not all mud. Thanks to their rude awakening, I found myself worth knowing.

So, if ever you see a devilish loner around, the heck, know her, you might be missing a lot... a whole-world-till-infinity-LOT. :)

Until the next brain rambling.

2007-01-10T18:27:00.001+08:00

This time, I will give you the privilege of seeing into my brain. Although it does not function too well because of ramblings, ill-wishes, and de-masking, the animosities are just the cream of this macaroni brain. I might or might not have told you about my three dimensional brain, each thinks separately.

"An idle mind is the playground of the devil"

True enough, "scenes", "dialogues", and other stuff have occupied it everytime I disembark from a previous academic lesson.

So from now on, although some may contain very very NASTY thoughts, none of it shall be violent nor perverted.

AND.
Nothing has been romantically (ehk) inspired here,
ngunit ang iba ay gawa mula sa PAGPIPIGIL NG GALIT, PAG-IWAS SA AWAY, AT PAGIGING KALMADO, at least, sa outer appearance. Haha

The Straw Series. Enjoy.
*This is no fan fiction. These are just anecdotes that got lost in my mind once upon a blank brain.
I shall use the names B1 and B2 (yeah. the greatest name ever given)

The Straw Series 1- One Straw

B1: I'll close my eyes... if I pick a yellow that means you're nice.
B2: You managed to play a game even if you're just buying juice.
B1: Tsk. I picked a green.
B2: Then that means I am far from nice.
B1: Nah. If I had my eyes open, there's no chance not to pick the yellow.

The Straw Series 2 - Mirror

To anyone who deems you insignificant:

It's not that there's not a word to describe you.
It's all about you being unworthy to be even described by words.

My First 2007 Post

2007-01-09T21:06:00.000+08:00

And it's all about this day.

Again, I had to meet familiar faces (well, some were too monstrous for me.) teka postpone muna

2006-12-20T18:56:00.000+08:00

Breaks are good.

If not, even better than everything you have worked for.

I'm not talking about bubogs from breakages, or break-ups I use to hear a lot from some relationship-~~obsessed~~ focused
beings.

I'm talking about the bum's perfect life - wherein finding any kind of work will be your only problem.
But, that sucks too. All rest makes me weaker and more vulnerable to stupidity.

So, it's the Christmas break. Just about 5 days before the most-awaited part of the year. And this is the only time I get to blog
after some "collegiate" matters.

All the rest, some few days of mental leave, heaven before a midterm hell...

Why is that I don't feel that enticing cool and warmth of the season? I'm supposed to be happy, well, this is supposed to be my blog,
that's why I'll only think of myself first. Haha.

Commercial Break: I NO LONGER FEEL SAD. I FEEL EWAN. Barbi, your picture, it's very... decent. Taken from any controversial someone's side.
THE HELL. NABULABOG MO SILENCE KO. HAHA. PIGGIES TALAGA.

Anyway, It's hard to recover that senti mode after seeing the mommy piggy's avatar.

It's Paskuhan today. Attending at least one is part of my life-long-want-list. And again, I failed. All my friends are out there,
enjoying themselves, and you get the feeling.

It makes me remember the pains and disappointments all over again. NO, it's not something about love. The hell with that.
It's something about the school I love, the life I wanted to have, and my current world which I am obliged to love.

See? They were correct. I can never dump my dreams and trade them for recycled ones. I just find my trash all over again.

My Xmas List!

2006-12-18T21:30:00.000+08:00

1. My bebots (my FRANCESCAN,ALL ORIGINAL bebots!) I want all of you wrapped, and ready-to-carry!
2. jacket. But I guess I'll get one for myself once I have some $$$, which is like centuries from now.
3. The urban smith rubber pink-red watch at american boulevard! hahaha I almost bought it. Good thing I remembered I needed the money.
4. Clothes. Though I'm no eba, you know.
5. DIGITAL CAM! haha, I guess I'll work for this one... 'study' for this one pala.
6. Bedhead! Hahaha daym
7. Chris Tiu. Double daym!

I can't think pa. Haha. As if.

Ang pinakaimportante sa 2006

2006-12-03T13:58:00.000+08:00

Lapit na ang aking kaarawan!
Regalo ko ha? :P
Peace. Haha

Smile

2006-12-03T13:20:00.000+08:00

ü

The amazing combination of alt-129. Four buttons result to a smile. But it isn't as easy as that.
I have heard the world 'smile' a lot lately. I guess, I have been hearing it all my life. Ironically, I tend to frown everytime I hear it. I don't like hearing it. Which of course means, no direct word can make me smile unless it doesn't include the word itself, and that any thought brings back a whole world full of plump happy memories.

In short, I'm not an all smile person. My lips seem to be fashioned on everything except to smile. Sorry for that. And, if you made me smile at least, then that's another thing. You might have looked way funny. Haha.

"Every time I see you crahahay... It makes me smahahayl. :)"

At the very start of this month of happiness, (is my borday yo!) I have remembered only a few people. Yeah, their faces and names have successfully been entered into my databank. Those I remember, out of a whole lot of them, were those who were generous with their smiles. As if there was not a reason to frown.

And that's wrong. We don't smile because we don't have problems, or anything that brings a frown. Smiling will always take a lot of muscles to conjure, it will always take a lot of nerves to bring about, and it will always take a lot of thoughts to endure. And yes, it will always make other people smile, too.

People who smile with out reasons are not maniacs or insane. Yes, in life, there are TONS and TONS of reasons for you NOT to smile. But in doing so, it means that you are one heck of a deep person, someone worth digging into, and someone worth remembering, for you have found a least a single reason to smile.

Summary:
Smiling isn't the result of finding no reason to frown. It is the result of finding a reason to smile amidst all the causes to be down.

Walang malalim na salita rito, walang kahit anong fantasy, or fantastic words. I am not an elitist when it comes to vocabularies, though I can be if required. What is more important is the THOUGHT rather than the choice of words.

Smile. :)

The Sunset Remains

2006-11-29T22:00:00.000+08:00

The Sunset remains forever.

Or at least, I feel it should.
All I see is a sunset. I don't see the night, never look into the sky, and perhaps I am dead at dawn.

All that is left, is a sunset.
By that time, the sky mixes itself with vivid, thoroughly impressionistic colors that could never mix in my palette.
The time travels, the aerial painting lulls me to sleep. However, it wakes me up after it leaves me with just its tail.

By that time, I see a few specs of sunlight scattered imperviously with an impending darkness... as if it were a thief chasing
all that is bright. As if it were a wave eating all that was left... As if it were really night ending your light.

I do not see the vastness of the night. My eyes accept no colors of it, I do not see darkness. But I am eternally grateful
it has fleeted almost steadily, if not for the dark I would have see none of the left light.

The sun is still there, hanging on through some streaks of light... of incandescent brightness living through what is void.
This, is what should remain...

The feeling that the sun is there, striving to shine your path, when all darkness has come to eat your day.
I see the sunset, even if I have never seen the sun.

When all is lost, it strives its way to give you a little light.

To the Caballeros

2006-11-26T00:21:00.000+08:00

Happy Burtday My Dear Blooders. :)

You've gotten a wee bit oldeRrer.

Bebots

2006-11-25T23:34:00.000+08:00

Missing.

It'd never be the same. Stepping at my current school has limited me to a minuscule world. It's too small to expand, too small...
It's seeing what's in store for me for the next three years.

I miss my bebots. I want to be with my friends. My real friends... Those who'd wait for me outside the room just to tell me another joke, give me another letter, or even just to watch me from the outside. I wish to see them there again, outside my room, and not see people who wait for you just because they think they need to. As if there even were.. I miss gossiping, I miss being cool with them, I miss having about 3 groups to join every break. I miss being as barubal as I can be.

I miss being with a group of unidentified girls with an unpredictable gender.

You see, although I know I can make people smile in this new encounter, it's just not enough. IT only makes me sulky; some laugh because of me... and there's just no one to do the same for me...

I try to become a great friend, again, but I guess, nothing gets left behind for me.

Sometimes, it sucks. That's why I feel tired most of the time. Not unlike HS, even with a midnight sleeping time, I perfectly retain the energy needed for two more restless days.

It's hard because my friends set such a high standard. I'll never lose you. :)

Ramon

2006-11-25T23:12:00.000+08:00

What is he doing?

I think he's singing.

That's not singing.

I heard an animal once and they rolled him over and then he was dead.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Am loving Ramon. Ramongers. Ramon the leader of the midget punggok penguins.

I love Happy Feet. The Adelies make me laugh, every single time. :)

The Dream is still a dream

2006-11-25T23:07:00.000+08:00

Half a semester ago, I wanted a digicam. All those glitz behind the vivid colors of my surroundings made me want to shoot some beings.

And so with a point-and-shoot dream, I told myself (sort of uto uto method, which is very effective) to strive so that I'll have that dream in the end...

But with some saving skills awfully necessary to be adapted at once, it still shall remain a dream.

:) La la la... I'll get one someday. I'm not patient.

Small is the new tall

2006-11-25T23:03:00.000+08:00

Thanks to Starbucks, I can now call myself tall.

In an interview with the CEO behind the unpatented covered happiness in a cup, the biggest question was raised - Why call the tall small?

Oo nga naman. It was like calling Murdy a giant or Gloria Arroyo a bit taller than the hi-ho dwarves.

The answer was straight - when you enter a store, you don't say, "I want a small. You say, I want a tall."

To See What they think they saw

2006-11-23T22:26:00.000+08:00

No matter who they are, it is said that you should accept them entirely, for they, too, suffer a living burden... you.

Your friends.

College life, according to some really shallow magazines, is a hard feat. There is constant adjustment, and you just have to fit yourself in. So I thought I really needed to follow those credible "101's".

You know, they really are worth burning. Collegiate life in my school is almost a wee bit like high school. You get more "advanced" lessons, have your rooms upgraded, and unlimited access to the gala's. There is always a shining oppurtunity for you to rebel, which is too tiring to do. But, you still get the same people. B*tches, freaks, saints, and normaloids. You still get the wonderful variety of the female force.

Anyway, it's funny to see people spending half their breaktime infront of mirrors, adding layers and layers and stratas and stratas of make up. Still, it's the same earth full of dirt. No matter how many greens you put in it, you'll still look like earth, won't you?

It's funny to hear these people call a bunch of erstwhile totally decent ladies "losers." If life for them was a game, and being as *presentable* as they look makes you a winner, then let all of us lose.

It's funny to laugh at recitation, especially if its the only thing you can bluff to the professor. I find it totally humorous... oh wait, did the cosmetics add another layer thine brain, if it did exist?

It's funny to see them be part of a group, then form another, then another... do you also happen to play "the boat is sinking?"

It's funny to hear their comments on whores. Especially before seeing them literally stick themselves once a man shows up. Perhaps it is self projection?

It's funny to hear them announce to the whole world that their friend is the ugliest ever, especially if she just went home.

You see, this is friendship.

I think so. It's just funny.

2006-11-03T17:33:00.000+08:00

DAY ONE
So, yeah. I went out for a while. If you didn't notice it, the hell, I didn't notice you, either. Haha.
And if you didn't remember, I didn't remember you, too, while shopping for some goodies. Aww.

This was my second time to step on the Land of Smiles. They smile at you because they can't understand you. Funny, I didn't even see a toothpaste advertisement
or something. Well, I did see one, but at that time I thought there was a horse or something. I thought the trip would be cancelled, the check-in counter took
a large chunk of our time, whilst it should have only gotten about ten minutes or so. The Kuwait Airway-employee didn't seem to know what the E ticketing system was
all about, I can't sue them for that, you can't win a case of ignorance and slow development.

I think, we're not even ready for the world wide internet business. We already had a proof of confirmation, yet, they just saw it as some piece of junk. What now is junk?
Disbelieving something you just don't know is junk. They told us they just wanted to make sure that we'd comeback. Of course we'll comeback, with people like them, yap, I'm quite sure
a midget like me is much needed.

Luckily, the plane had entertainment system, It wasn't as good as Cathay's array of leisure stuff, nor as satisfactory as PALs, nor as smelly as Royal Brunei's.
The Devil wears Prada was showing, and I thought it would be a 2 hour time eater, but then, it proved to be the work of the devil. My compartment was jammed, it has no sound.
When my mom slept, I took her headphones to hear the movie. HAHA.

After some jamming sessions, we landed at Suvarnabhumi Airport, (say what?), tagged as the Mantra of the East. According to the brochure (yeah. souvenirs. I have loads from different ports. even starbuck's) the
airport was the world's longest. Meanwhile, I had my own mantra. It wanted to pee. The airport sounded like airpot... I wanted to go potty.

I didn't care looking at the glass everything, I didn't have time to marvel at the world class, possible one of the world's best (since it was similar to the world's best - Hong Kong's), I didn't have
time to smother the coldness, nor to search for a papable to give to Jhumee. I just needed a laser-sensored bathroom.

The airport was a feast for the eyes, fluorescent lights where in harmony with its glass exteriors. I thought, at about 2 am, the ligts were supposed to shock the eyes. Instead, it warmed and assure me of what a place it would be. And what a maputok place it was.

DAY 2

We stayed at the Hotel, but we eventually had to wake up early for the tours. Buffet breakfast, with some spicy soup, spicy veggies, and spicy fruits. Yes, even the fruits were spicy. I thought the sugar was supposed to sweeten things. May sili pala.
So I gathered every piece of food my radioactive stomach can accomodate ("Good morning spicy watermelon, how may I digest you?")...

until...

"Thong Tae"

That was the name of the place. And it was indicated in the wall, with Kelsey in front of it. So you can imagine how magestic the scenery was. While I was eating some unknown browny spicy soup, kelsey was infront of me, eating, and at her back was a large title, THONG TAE.
~~Who's~~ What's tae?
It made me eat more. It assured me of the cleanliness, and the amount of respect that should come with it. Thong na nga, tae pa. Thong tae.
Then the tour guide (with no name. We forgot to ask.) brought us near the river. She told us that it was the King's River, the most important of all rivers in Thailand. We road a very ancient, traditional motorboat that kept rocking through the waters. The water was very kingly, even the color was gold. Thong tae. I don't know, but there were houses at the side, surviving through stilts. So I don't have an idea where their wastes go. Perhaps, that made the river so kingly. We avoided the splashes, but then it kept on attacking us. Kelsey, with her ever opened volcano mouth, tastes a dropful, and my brother and dad told us it tasted really... nutty.
Anyway, the bumpy, nutty, goldy ride was fun. Afterwards, they brought us to Dreamworld, their kind of theme park. The rides were more adventurous than that of EK, but they only had 4. One was the... hurricane I think. They let you sit in a horizontal thingy then they twist it crosswise, counter crosswise, I don't know. I just saw them inverted for some time, with some white liquid spurting out of their mouths. Mahaba ang pila. So, we didn't have time to test if there would be some white stuff coming out of our mouths, too.
My brother and I tried the Hanging Coaster, and its just about a minute or two. It was fun. Especially if your brother tries to push you so that you'll fall.
He treated me to some GO KART racing, pwede na kong speed driver. >:)
There were lots of photo spots, so we wasted no time looking like fools. Some of the foreigners were more interested in our posing than looking at the real attractions. After spending some gallons of sweat (you know I sweat a lot even if I just lifted my books or something. I drink too much.), we headed to Pattaya. Beach attraction. About 2 hours away from Bangkok.
The hell. Our hotel was not near the Red Light District. I was disappointed. WE WERE STAYING IN THE RED LIGHT DISTRICT. We tried to do some shopping at night, pero all we found were.... bars... gay bars... totally prosti bars... with women wearing their bras, and all. I don't know who were the women, though. Basta iyon. AGOGO. Punong puno. I actually saw what my thesis was about. HAHA. Luckily, we sat in one bar, a gelato bar. Ice cream, 99 percent fat free! :) The Ferrero Rocher ice cream really tasted like the real one, but my sister and brother already ordered those. So I went for Vanilla Mexico and Mint Chocolate. Even with the colds. Lalo kasing lumala yung sipon ko nung uhugin ako nang makita ko yung mga nagsasayawang brassiere laden women.

DAY 3

We woke up early, again, with tissue near my nostrils and a hundred more tissu flaps on my bed. I just slept with a pillow.
Daym! I need at least three, (at home I even have a living pillow beside me, my sister.) Anyway, the tour guide brought us to the beach front, and I was expecting
some more of the prosti's gathering there. I don't know. Perhaps they're like vampires, agogo alive at night. A motor boat was waiting for us, ready to bring us to Coral Island.
Ayun. It was fun, especially if you know you could fly once you raise your hands. After some 15 minutes, we reached the island, shark-free. One by one we stepped out from the boat, and when it was my turn,
it made a quick jerk. LANGYA. Kung hindi pa ko nakahawak nag superman na ko papuntang buhangin. eww. The sand wasn't exactly white, it reminded me of pulvoron.
The crew immediately showed an array of photos, jetski, banana boat, parasailing, seawalk. My brother chose the sea walk (walking scuba), and the hila hila from the jetski, while Kelsey and I just enjoyed the sand.
Motor boat again, so ayun. Wala naman akong nakitang lumulutang na tae. Mga hapon na naka brief, marami. Ampangit. Mukha kasing diaper yung briefs nila. Hahaha Walang pambili ng trunks. Kaya ayun na lang diba.
tama nga naman.

Four days pa. yeah. Bukas na lang tamad na ko

Tignan na lang ang pictures namin para malaman ang storya sa multiply. Hanggang Day 6 kasi ito.

You have to be my contact sa multiply to view the pics. Tata

the corn was good enough. Its still GOLD :)

2006-10-27T22:52:00.000+08:00

It's still gold, at least, when colors matter so much to me, corn is definitely gold.
You probably know by now. I was busy telling the whole world the start of my series of feats in college.
It took me 15 minutes to realize that there was actually something authentic written on my report paper.

*** President's Lister.

And the heck. That made me shouting loud at Dunkin Donuts. They probably don't know that I'm closer
to that 30,000 pesos, and of course, hehe, the glory nga pala. :)

I decided not to tell people. But the heck, I told them a minute after I promised myself not to. It was far beyond
my dreams. And even farther than my grades. My average does not qualify me for PL, it's 1.34, .09 short,
so I don't know. But It's written there, right? So, hello fun Christmas and lucky are those who were born after this day.
I have the budget to buy you gifts. Presidential gifts at that.

Yesterday was a bumpy night. Sara Jessica Parker died in If Only, and then I received an SMS, with one
of my sweetest blockmates telling me,

Congrats Prez List ka.

I called her, and the one who told her, and texted the one who told them. It turns out it was another ordinary
judgment. They say it with out proper basis. Just one look at my eye glasses and height, they know I qualify.
So I let the excitement passed.
When it was the Brit's turn to die in the film, I received another shocking message. And in it was someone who
was believed to be committing suicide, and another with a bunchful of hatred, cusses, and plus plus.
But who cares. They won't listen. After all that you've done, you'll always turn out to be the bad one, huh?

Again. I'm President...'s Lister. HAHAHA. WEEEEEEEE!!!!!

So there. I told my brother. And just about 5 minutes ago, he sneaked into my sisters room (not fair, I sneaked first!)
and he told me he has "something" for me. The last "gift" he gave me was a DEAD RAT ( I don't care if it still squealed)
trapped in a mouse sticky trap (what a circular statement), which he told us was chocolate.
In short, I don't trust that gift.

Kuya: come on! It's not breathing! Close your eyes

Those were the words of TRUSTWORTHY BROTHERSHIP, so I hid under the bed, but I couldn't, so I hit my head instead,
and tada.

He had a corn. It was his way of congratulating me. So corny. This corn will make my stomach radioactive. What a perfect gift.
Just in time for our flight tomorrow. It'd be digested then.

Then he hailed, and called me the queen of the corn.
And I told him I'll get bucks. And I am queen of the corn forever more.

How often do you become queen?

okay.

of the corn.

QUOTE FOR THE DAY

2006-10-25T15:15:00.000+08:00

this day's quote is from the Holgado clan, to be forever carved in chocoflakes.
Jumee says:

5.) Happy ka ba ngayon?
> OO AM SO DAMN HAPI NYAHAHAHAHHAHAHA <3

Sched for the 2nd sem

2006-10-25T14:56:00.000+08:00

Should I still live? Hahaha.. huhu.
Everyday Chem.
Dude, turuan mo ko sa Physics, haha. :)
Gulong at Meme, turuan niyo ko sa Chem. :)
~~Acre, Turuan mo ko sa Catech.~~

Hay. Would I still have social life? ~~As if meron talaga ako nun~~
Sabihin niyo rin sched niyo sa akin bebots ah :)

It was long

2006-10-25T14:04:00.000+08:00

The weather caster told me that our Days shall be short and our nights cold and long.

Then what the heck was that? A whirlwind in a second?

Today is another normal day. You get normal days only when you don't get the normal abnormal days.

Abnormality Number One:
Enrollment moving farther.
Our destined enrollment day was on the 24th of October. It was a day reserved only for the Freshmen.
(Don't you think that's fun? Short lines, short queues, - we have none of that. The Freshies are 600 in number, while the other years are made up of a HUGE, LONG-LINED numbers of 50...20...175. Yeah. Probably those who take up Religious Ed are only about 20. I don't know.)
Until the 24th of October was declared public holiday by the President. Could it be the sign of not enrolling at SP? Nah. I ain't part of the Abu Sayyaf's belief no matter how similar we act. So it was moved to today, the 25th.

Abnormality Number Two:
Help us. Send us Guidance from above. Cause people got me got me questioning,
WHERE IS THE LINE? WHERE THE HECK IS THE LINE?
Translation:
above=mga taong nakapila na masmatangkad sa akin.
There were so many lines there, we had to choose which one was right. I wasn't that lucky in lining up for the right window.
"Miss, sa registration muna bago finance."
"Murrie, finance muna bago registration."
"Miss, sa Nursing Building muna kayo tumungo."
"Bakit kayo nandito? (office ng dean ng nursing) Dun kayo sa secretary ko!"
"Miss, pumila po kayo, wag sisingit." (Napagkamalan akong sumingit kasi hindi niya ako makita.)
"Miss, yung blue slip po. Indication na kayo'y pumasa"
"Miss, CR po ito ng lalaki."
"Miss, dito po mag-eenroll for preschool."

Abnormality Three:
We had to get the blue slip first.
If your course is Nursing, then you definitely have to get a confirmation stating that you don't have any grade lower than 83. Or else, it's probably a RED tag for you. Bye bye nursing.
I saw some faces outside, sulky enough for Halloween. Wait, let me make that *sulky enough for the Lenten Season and Halloween combined. It's the end of their season of spurting injection and sprinkling blood.
When I gave my name, the secretary made a quick look at my scores, and immediately reached for the pen and the slip without even batting an eyelash, a nostril, or a... I don't know.

Abnormality Four:
You see, all the crowd made up of people taller than you could make you dizzy. And it could make a 17 thousand peso difference. My mother went immediately to the finance, and paid for my tuition fee in full. She handed my the receipt after, while I was lining up for the assessment. (Assessment first before Finance, supposedly.)

Barbie: Waw! 47 thousand Nine hundred fifty five ang tuition natin? (kumpleto pa e no)
Ako: Uu nga no! Manloloko sila! Tsk
Michelle: Pano yan 30 thousand lang ang nasabi ko! Kulang!

Iyon pala, my mother thought that I was already in my second year, taking up the second semester. And that made the 17 thousand difference. I don't know what would happen, but there would definitely by a refund.
And that I would be trapped in St. Paul for the rest of my years. Hay. It sucks.

Abnormality Number Five:

I got words from the Biggest Flower ever. Mr. Flores is alive again.
Michelle and I looked at the teacher codes, the ones you see in the registration slip. We compared the codes, and we found out that Sir Flores would still be, our one and only English professor, the gay-est highness forever.
I can feel the gayness flowing. It's daym contagious.
I guess I'm gonna be gay by the end of the year.

Abnormality Number Six

The Highness gave hints of what I already know.
I gave my terror prof a loving "YOU ARE A MONSTER" card at the end of the first sem, breathing freely, knowing that my 7:30-9 am, Wednesday and Friday hell was over.
And he liked it. I told you I'm gonna be gay.

" Hi maree, just read ur wacky ticket n got ur mom's strawberry, sori been so bz lately. M so touchd, thank you so much, love d strbery, thanks a lot. U have been a very gud student. Keep it up n enjoy ur break. C yah around. :)"

Sa bawat text ko sa kanya, nagpakahirap akong ipagkasya ang mga orthodox spelling, na wag gumamit ng text language, itama ang grammar at kung ano ano man.
Anong tawag mo jan.
Maybe I just need to be detached from my bzness. R u bz? U wanna eat strbery? I want strbery rin. Aww.

I just love that Gu/ay. But pls, no more hell.

That is all. Guys, visit the newest Blog on the Kid, Acres. Find the link there, and read all about her kabutes.

p.s.
Thanks for editing :)

It Happens

2006-10-23T23:16:00.000+08:00

You're probably sick of hearing this.

Love happens for a reason.

But you know, people in love appear to hear it as if it were the first time around, even if they have reasoned this cliche for the zillionth time. What if,

Love happens to Jumilove Gatmin and Jonrae Holgado?

Then does your reason go?

I have never expected that all these would come to life. Second upon a time, there was this pink-infatuated, bespectacled chocolate lover who bumped into a living chocolate. Yes, as ~~DEAR OLD, TRUSTWORTHY, EVER-RELIABLE~~ friends who would never put you into dire danger, we teased them, gave them a fake wedding, made propagandas all over SSAM, had signature campaigns, made them videos - oh you know, ultra ~~COMMON~~ stuff. (As if you don't chance on signature campaigns everyday. Well, you really don't)

Do you remember those palaces we built for them? Those stories we made up so at least, in our deepest fantasies, there exists a Jumirae Couple?

They are Fairy Tales no more. Except of course, if Jumee's smiles, winks, hidden heart thumps, and frequent WEH's indicate even the smallest involvement of a living fairy tale, then you got it right.
All we're asking is a simple date.

If you're infected with a Jumee's-in-love-and-she's-hiding-it, then you should be suffering from any of these:

a. Saying frequent WEHS whenever any love or Jonrae related topic is asked.
example.
Me:"Sino yung namimiss mo?"
Jumee: "WEHHHHHH!!!!! =D"
Excuse me, have I even said anything about her deepest feelings for that special someone? I think someone's just plain guilty. :)

b. HHWW
I happened to summon the couple for a friendly lunch. This was about JUNE time. YEAH. JUNE TIME.
They didn't see me, obviously because I'm as tall as DQ's poster (don't laugh dammit. hahaha), and so I attacked from behind. I was ready to give them a WWE worthy push when I saw the shock of my lunch. Holding Hands. While Walking. While Searching for Tall Murdy. And when I did continue that push, I flew. I think it was instinctive of them to break hands, jump, wear their CAUGHT IN THE ACT masks on, and push me as if I were a robber from Divisoria. OR probably, it was just GUILT.

c. Kissing Goodbyes.
I don't know. When you kiss someone in the cheek, before you leave gateway, and part your choco and moccha hands away, probably it's just, uhh,, a CLASSMATELY-AFFAIR. (Strunk and White says, do not construct awkward adverbs. Let me fix that).
*some loveydovey matters perhaps? O common. YOu don't kiss your male classmates, prof, and schoolstaff goodbye, DO YOU?

Should I say more? Let the Videocam bluff. Haha :)

Here's some evidences I gathered from Friendster. You know. Friendster isn't such a safe place after all.
WITH ME AROUND. That is. =)

Evidence number ONE:

Jumee's Friendster Post, Dated:Monday, 23 October, 2006 9:53 PM

may pnagseselosan k ba ngayon?
+ wala jajajaja.

pwede bang makahingi ng clue tungkol sa
crush/mahal mo?
+ tao siya :D

ano favorite color nya?
+ blue hahaha

schoolmate mo?
+ HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA

kilala ka nmn?
+oo

tingin mo, gsto ka rin niya?
+ isa pang HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

anung initials niya?
+ =D

masaya ka ba sa lovelife mo ngayon?
+ oo naman =D

Message:
1. Is there someone who you like at the moment?
yep
5. How many times can you honestly say you've
been in love?
once..? =D

6. Do you believe that everyone has a soul-mate?
yep

7. Do you think that you should become friends
with someone, before dating them?
uu namn

9. What do you think about long-distance
relationships?
can't work

< Paano na if DADA flies to Aussie? :(

Hahaha :)
I can't think of more na. As of now lang. :)

Lunch at 5.

2006-10-20T17:25:00.000+08:00

Since when did lunch take place at 5?

Since today.

Two o'clock ang pasok ni kapitan ng mga midgetlette. May Living Rosary raw kasi sila, kaya she has to live from 2-7 sa school. Wala namang nabahala, tuwing 8 lang naman siya naghahasik ng lagim. 8-10 ay ang oras kung saan tapos na siya sa kanyang mga gawain, kuno. (Tapos na ang pasensya sa homework, kamo.) Kaya naman ang ginagawa niya sa mga panahong ito ay nakikinuod, nagkukunwaring may bakasyon, kumakanta, sumasayaw, at tumatalon talon. In short, nagpapakita ng tunay na kulay. Kaya naman siya binansagang ~~LATAK~~ dahil siya ay bunso. Tira tirang katinuan.
Eh ayun. Alas dos pa raw siya makaaalis. E di, hinatid namin siya, at hindi pa ako naglulunch dahil 11 ako nagising. Breakfast pa lang. 1:30, dumating ang dad ko at dala ang KFC ni Kelsey na pangdinner niya, at ang KFC kong lunch.
Pero siyempre. Indi ko siya pwede kainin sa kotse. Baka magsabog ako ng gravy.
Tumuloy kami sa Riverbonkers dahil may bibilin daw si Mommy. Naunsyami ang KFC ko. Sa sobrang gutom, nagpabili na ako kay Mommy ng mongo pao sa chowking. Less than a minute naglaho na ito. Binilan niya na rin ako ng Sprite, mukha raw kasing nabilaukan ako. Matapos nito, idiniretso ni Daddy ang kotse sa Pancake house. Bumili ng Halo Halo. Napakahealthy talaga. Matapos ng Halo Halo, bumili si Daddy ng Waffle Sundae stuff na maraming ice cream. Napakahealthy talaga. Alas tres na, hindi pa ako nakakakain ng manok, biglang nagtext ang ate ko. Pasundo raw ng 4. Kaya ayun.
Five ko na nakain si Manok.

Wala lang.

The Couples.

2006-10-19T19:46:00.000+08:00

Jumirae.

Ranma.

Choose which fan club you fancy the most. Haha. Peace.
Never thought things would really turn out.
COngratulations bebots. Our paparazzi job paid off.

The Weirdots

2006-10-19T19:15:00.000+08:00

It turned out that I was the weird one.

My mother woke me up by telling me that we'll be off to galleria in 2 hours or so. Daimos. It was still 6:30. Waaaaay early, sembreak time, in this project free time zone. So there, with a few swishswooshes I managed to tidy myself.

~Fast ~~Food~~ Forward ~

Then everything went slowmo. This is not the picturesque scene you see on tv. I was thinking slowmos activate only when Sam Milby's clones are near. But NO. Head down, I saw one really LARGE foot, struggling to keep its enormity in tact. As I looked up to check this girly goliath, I saw the biggest shock of my life.
Slowly, the hairy thighs, the greek, rubber tree-like skirt, the flying Dress that seemed to be sculpted from a certain Encanto filled waterfalls -DAMN. It ended with a skin-headed ~~KAPRE~~ man.
And so the slowmo ended happily. T_T.

I haven't seen weirdos since I have left St. Scho. (Oh you know, people who live by the name of Jumee, Steph, Acre, and their equally gigantic leader = me. )
This ~~KAPRE~~ was accompanied by another mammoth, who looked a little bit decent with his tail. I thought there were hidden cameras, knowing that stuff like this only happen in gag shows.

On the other hand, I just thought the guy wanted to look pretty and that he was searching for some wig. You know, Galleria has Marcella's and a lot of pretty pretty shops.

And I thought I would never see the freakos again.
While I was strolling alone, watching workers put Gmasks on cellphone, (Whaddahell are GMasks? Go check yourselves. Am not paid to advertise, you know.) the two KAPRES headed towards my direction. This time, they were being flunked by some dwarves armed with glowing sticks.
Until I realized that these dwarves were still taller than me, and that they were fans of wrestling, hoping to get a picture or two with their cellphones. DAMN. They were SUPERSTARS afterall.
I didn't know KAPRES could be so famous. They almost kicked me thrice, and that would make me go bonki bonki bonkers.

Vito and Idol Stevens.

TV Patrol Just now.
Vito: "I like trying on women's clothes. Anybody who wants to be kicked, well I'll kick them. I'll kick them all."

And I almost called him pretty, in the face.

here is the visual interpretation of my definition of kapres:

Vito and Idol Stevens?

Jeepneys are perfect national animals

2006-10-17T21:53:00.001+08:00

Jeepneys are the perfect national animals.

From the rear to the mufflers, they are everything that defines a Filipino. They govern the streets, the roads, and all land if they can. The reason behind their hierarchy is a nationalistic claim. That they are the property, the elite rarity of the nation.

Kailangan nilang manatili dahil sila ay ating atin.

Which is, totally absurd. They are not kingly because of such reasons.

Maybe. Just like the other kings, fat, greedy, and roaring. They act like a pride of lions eating their way to gather a bountiful of commuter preys. They remain the "kings" of the road because they are nothing close to rational. It is instinctive of them to bump and crash your cars if you do not adhere.

When luck strikes and they get all the media's attention, they wear their Slavic masks (slave like. HAHAHA! I just ran out of adjectives) and act like dear old Puss in boots.

They say that they get poorer with all the gasoline jumps, and yet we hear none when the prices deflate. What rises with 6 pesos remains till it loses air.

Excuse me. Jeepneys do not own the roads. It’s not because you say that you are UNDER the society, you obtain the right to HARASS just as many cars as you want.

The Philippines is overloaded with Jeepneys. We are made up of such.

And I’m not talking about just the vehicle.

2006-10-14T13:25:00.000+08:00

Sembreak!

I'm Dreaming. Don't wake me up.

2006-09-23T16:21:00.000+08:00

Some say loud dreaming hinders it from becoming real. If we'd surrender to such a compromise, where then does all the fun go?

Dreams are meant to be enjoyed, whether they become real or not. Bad dreams are to be called nightmares, okay? So dreams, in general, are fantasies still kept at bay.

There is, literally, no harm in dreaming. If they come true, then what a horror to behold. (Yey for horror buffs). If they do not, well, they are still dreams to begin with.

So, now get this. I'll dream in a manner loud enough you to hear. ^^
And what an accurate, well-calculated dream at that.

If I qualify for the DL... that would mean having about 16 thousand.
8 thou would go to my bank savings. Just like what Daddy said.
So there's 8 thousand left. And Half of it will go to the MareeFund. (For future stuff)
So there's 4 thousand left. My mom has all the cravings for a new perfume. And so I'll buy it for her. Only half left.
Contacts, clothes, or books. That's it.

If, however, i qualify for the PL... that would be seeing double.
16 would go to my bank savings.
The other sixteen? Oh yeah. The fun in dreaming.
Perhaps, 2 thousand for my swimming lessons. Yeah. Pao Mata. I'll try to beat you. Wah.
1 thou for the "costumes" (AKA one piece. really needed for my 2nd sem swimming classes)
2 thou for my contacts.
Some more for a digital camera, my mom's perfume, Christmas gifts, new clothes, and some books. Yeah :)

Lalala. Day dreaming... still.

Gay Writings.

2006-09-20T19:10:00.000+08:00

If you're gay and you know it then you're counted.

I forever love gays. Or in a more realistic sense, just for the moment.

Weeks ago, I've introduced a devil wears nada character to some of my friends. He lives by the name of Flores, the mighty mighty Flores. Because of a "missing-faculty-key" incident, I was appointed as Council Leader. The event for him was so tragic, that even just a mob of a few professors was already a disastrous stampede for him.

One time, he asked me to ***** *** ******. That's right. You read clearly. Perhaps, this biggie prof of mine shoved a great deal of trust towards me.

A few days more, we started our hellish graded recitation. Who the hell is Jose Saramago for you?
Well sir, I, unlike most of them, do not wish to say that he was born in 1922, because it is of no importance for me. And I know nothing of his Portuguese biography. What I know sir, is that his line "Forgive me if what has seemed little to you, to me is all" pertains to his entire entity. Little is everything, for it includes his whole family, the genealogy from which he has drawn his characters.

So on and so forth. No matter how much I expound and continue, you wouldn't understand anyway. What was discussed in the classroom remains; unless you want to spend an hour with me.

He just told me "BRILLIANT." For someone who calls artworks as MONSTROUS and ORC-ISH, or even CHICKEN'S PLAY, BRILLIANT is way beyond heaven. It's an epiphany. *Let's write that down class, epiphany."

And then there was the PAASCU visit.
Bla bla bla. I made a portrait of Marjorie Evasco, and explained one of her essays about Babaylans and women writers which sounded more like a research paper. It was completely alien to him, and so my every word made him fantasize on such an essay. While I was speaking, I caught a glimpse of him holding on to his chest as he stopped fanning himself, wearing the very same impression of his "make love with the book" demo. After I spoke, we all knew he didn't know what to say.

"Very impressive. Lets give her a claaaap of the hannndddd"

*Gay clap please*

He asked for a copy of the essay. After a week, it was already included in our exams.

Then there was the Feast and Famine bookreport. Do not worry. I shall post it here. Next year maybe.
There were long, red, vigorous lines decorating the whole paper. These were made by the same hands who've written the words "words are like onions" and "correct" over some nasty brilliant lines in any photocopied work we have. When I finally gave up every hope of salvation, I turned my book report to see some big, fat, red, cursive writings.

"Excellent insight paper!!! Keep it up!! Give me a copy of this, ok??"

Nasty. Man, I feel being elevated to the status of a deity.

And now, I have with me an envelope from him.

"Mr. and Mrs. Policarpio."

Its not yet opened, but I think I know what it says. :)

Quotes

2006-09-18T17:32:00.000+08:00

English Getaway Sessions:

"Copy. Now na!"
by Sir Flores, written on the blackboard.

"Strunk and White. You are bobo, these people are brighter than you. Sir Jojo, you are bobo. These people are brighter than you."
by Sir Flores, shouted at the people who do not have their own copies of a 175-peso grammar book.

"Do not ignite my anger. I feel like eating people today!"
Yes sir. I can see that.

"Stop your reason you eat your reasons! Ridiculous."
Lesson for the day: Never answer when someone asks you why.

"Sir Jojo Flores declared the hottest fictionist in the whole world."
Props for news report.

"As with one s is really an ASS"
On using the word as.

"When I wish to die, I feel alive and alive all over again."
Sir upon giving us tons of homeworks and some low grades.

"I went to Sandigan Bayan alive and in person!"
On personification. Joke. On his papers. Apparently, we aliens have to do something about our rights.

"The pants is a non living sob-stance."
Logic blckmate. Made me think. A lot.

"Subra........ AY! Super plus sobra yon eh!"
Ako.

"Yaya. Ang bato. Dar~na."
My reputable professor.

"Petra. Answer. On that day, you will be baptized with that name."
On PAASCU visits. Just in case he doesn't know you.

"Assignment. Write a sentence with 2 verbs. See? I don't know these creatures."
On mocking other classes.

"Blechirs."
Do you want to sit with me in the blechirs?

Brain Jam

2006-09-18T17:31:00.000+08:00

Napakagaling siguro ng aking utak.
Ay. Utak pala ng tao. Para kasing maraming compartment, ang isang ideya ay natatago ko habang nagrereceive pa ang isang parte.
Para bang call wait tas may stored value.

Ang bukas ay bukas. Di man natin mapigilan ang pag-aalala kung tayo ang tutubuan na ng kung ano sa susunod na pagsikat ng araw,
kailangan natin isipin ang ngayon.
Hindi pa ba lubos ang gumawa at magtrabaho ng kung ano man para bukas?
Lahat na ng ating ginagawa ay para sa susunod at darating pang mga araw.
Kaya sa utak natin, dapat ay masiyahan tayo sa ngayon, sapagkat kung tuluyan tayong mag-aalala, mabilis lang na lilipas
ang ano mang kasiyahan sa ngayon.

Kaya, ilibre niyo na ko ngayon. Purihin niyo na ko ngayon.
Ahaha :) Biro lang.

Masarap kasing magpanggap na happy-go-lucky eh.

x.x

2006-09-17T21:22:00.000+08:00

I haven't been alive for a couple of months.

Perhaps, the consistent Strunk and White lessons in English has kept me a busy person and at the same time a word murderer.
I do not know how to construct concise sentences, so, every blabber of mine would be foul.

To be continued. Ako ay inaantok.

U-thoughts for the feed.

2006-08-02T21:43:00.000+08:00

Do we really need to fancy "Truth or Dare" games before finally telling the truth?
Do we really have to play a game before arriving at such incidents?

Do I really have to type do we really? Do I? (Pampalabo.)

Do you know that whether you come out with a particular truth or falsity, it still wouldn't matter? It has the same truth value.

Pero seriously, do we have to:

1. Wait for an authoritative figure to point a gun at us before saying something?
2. Be bribed with lotsa cash before telling the truth? It does not have to be that expensive.
3. Do we have to undergo lie detector tests in order to arrive at the truth?
4. Do I have to squeeze your hands until they turn into prunes before finally knowing what I want to know?

I have nothing about the games or other stuff (hell, it's too fun to be despised, except of course if the bottle points at you.) It's just another Uthought. Haha.

*Inductive. Specific to General*

Ang Camera.

2006-07-29T19:17:00.000+08:00

I am now an official pest.

Ano ano nga ba ang mga bagay na binubudburan ng aerosol na tulad ng LYSOL?

a. Mga bagay na nadapuan ng mga hindi kanais nais na nilalang or entities.
b. Mga karumihan sa mundo.
c. Kung nais mong maging subtle, ayaw mo nang amoy ng baygon, eh gamiting
pamatay ng peste ang lysol.
d. Pabangong matindi. Parang axe.

Kung ganon pala, isa na ako sa mga iyan. Pagkauwi ko, spinrayan ako agad ng lysol, mula leeg hanggang paa. Mula harap hanggang likod. Para madisinfect ang ano mang bagay na kumapit sa kapwa nilang tulad ko.

Naligo rin ako ng sulfur soap. Sa katunayan, amoy pulbura ako ngayon, maspipiliin ko pa sana ang lysol.

Infectious. Yeah. That's the word. What's that word?

Kagagaling ko lang sa Ospital ng Maynila. Sumulpot ang isang pimple-wannabe sa aking noo, nakikigaya sa napakaactive na Mayon Volcano. Hindi ko talaga inaasahan ang mga sumunod na pangyayari. Sa katunayan, hindi naman talaga kami pinayagan nang tuluyan dun. At hindi rin naman tapos ang script. Walang kasiguraduhan sa mga tauhan na gaganap, walang kasiguraduhan sa pagkakaroon ng pasyente.

Pinsan ni Kei ang isang O.B. doon, kaya kami napayagan sa E.R. Napakilala kami sa isang intern, si Ginoong Pinggol. (Ginoo nga ba talaga?)
He was just too happy to help us. Too happy to play so many roles.
Or maybe, he just wanted some lunch.
Sa pagkakaalam ko, napakababa ng sweldo lalo na kapag public hospital ka. Reputable, honorable, but it cannot provide enough for daily living.
Ayun, nabasa niya ang script, at pumayag naman. Sinuot pa ang kanyang gown para lalong magmukhang presentable si Ginoo, at siya pa ang nag ad-lib sa mga arte arteng eksena.

Pero bago nuon, ito muna.

Napadpad kami sa Ospital. Nang pumasok kami, marami nakatingin sa amin, napagkamalan pa kaming mga taga La Salle. Apparently, bawal talagang kumuha run. Pero dahil kapit sa patalim, pati mga empty cribs pinatulan ko na. Pati yung hagdanan, nabubulok nang pintuan, at naglalakihang oxygen tanks. Hindi ako makakuha nang maayos. Lubhang napakalakas ng consensya ko. Nakuha ko ito sa aking mga magulang, at pati na rin sa Isko. Hindi man consensya (dahil maaaring wala ako nun), masasbi kong ETHICS na iyon bilang kapwa tao.
Ikaw ba kung ikaw ay may sakit nais mo pang makuhanan ka sa condition mong iyon?
Gaganahan ka bang kumuha, lalo na kung para ito sa isang project?
Lalo na kung ang motibo mo ay kumuha ng kaawa awang nilalang para magmukhang dramatic ang project mo?
Magiging masaya ka ba?

Sabi ng mga kagroup ko, as much as possible, kuhanan na ang anu mang makukunan ko. Pero, hindi ko rin halos nagawa. Nanaiisin ko pang ako na lang ang umarte sa infected nang kama kesa palalain yung mga tingin nila. Tulad nga nang sabi ng ate ko, kakaiba tumingin ang may sakit. Sabi ng iba, kaya ganon sila tumingin, kasi may sakit nga sila. Masama ang pakiramdam. Para sa akin, oo nga, masama nga pakiramdam, kaya ayoko nang palalain.

Ayun. Masyadong game na game si Ginoo. Siya na gumawa nang lahat. Naglagay ng swero.
Nagsukat ng tiyan. Nagpaanak. Lahat na. Masyado siyang isang malaking tulong. Dinala niya rin kami pati sa trauma. Umarte kahit bawal ang camera. Lalo tuloy akong naconsensya.
Ay mali. ETHICS muli pala iyon.

May dumating na misis. Maliit lang siya. Akala ko simpleng sakit lang. Iyon pala, narinig ko something about pagiging buntis.
Kaya ayun, kuha ako nang kuha.
Tinanong ng nurse kung buntis ba siya. Simpleng oo ang sagot.
Kuha ako ulit nang kuha. Wow. Buntis. Siguro umpisa pa lang.

Iyon pala, nalaglagan siya. Nakunan.

Nakakaconsensya. Kasi ang pinasabi pa namin sa kanya,
"Doctor, ano pong nangyayari sa anak ko?"

Tama lamang na ilayo niya ang mukha niya. Masyado akong naging bastos. Kung alam ko lang naman na ganoon ang nangyari...

Pangalawang pagkakataon. Malaki tiyan. Wow. Tiyak na buntis.
Malapit na siyang manganak, at habang sinusukat ang mga bagay bagay, kinukunan ko siya. At iyon, sa tingin pa lang niya sa akin, ramdam ko na ang kahihiyan niya.
Hindi ko rin kaya ang ganoon. Patient advocacy. Kahit papaano, ang unang hanap ng isang patient ay privacy. At pinagkait ko iyon, dahil lamang sa isang project...
Sayang. Hindi man lang kami nakapagbigay ng mittens o kahit anong gamit ng baby bilang pasasalamat...

At ito, tunay na konsensya na ito.
Ang babaeng iyon pala ay narape. Kaya ganoon na lamang ang tingin...
Kakayanin rin ba ng konsensya mo ang mga pinagagawa ko?

Hay, salamat na lamang kay Ginoo na masyado naging bibo, sayang na nga lamang kung bading siya. Pagdadasal ko na lang siya na sana maging tunay na doctor. Tulad nga ng sabi niya, ang panganganak na hinandle niya ay SMOOTH NA SMOOTH.

Matapos iburn lahat ng calories niya, nagparinig siya about free lunch. Dapat lang naman talaga iyon. Hindi simpleng 2 piece chicken joy lang. Kaya kahit sayang ang pera para sa iba, binigyan namin sila ng Bucket meal. Kahit papano, worth it lahat.
At ewan ko na lamang kung sinong di mahihiya sa mga pinagagawa ko...
Sa paglabag ko ng privacy.
At isa pa, hindi rin naman gaanong kalaki sweldo nila, kaya dapat lamang gawin iyon.

Matapos nuon ay pumunta kaming gateway para mag disinfect. Nagbayad kami ng 10 pesos para makagamit ng sabon at alcohol. At para duon na rin magkalat ng germs.
Hinanap ko si Dada. Akala ko pinapatay niya na lahat ng multo sa house of dead eklat sa timezone. Wala pa pala siya nuon, nagsusunog pa ng balat sa ROTC. (ROTC ba iyon?? Ano nga pala tawag dun sa pambabae). Kaya kumain muna kami ng sizzling tenderloin steak. Poof. Ubos agad ang pera. Sa buong pagkakaalam ko, hindi na naman tutuloy sina Atenistas sa gateway. "Org Thingy". Buti pa sila may org ng katinuan. At hayun, nakita ko rin si Dada. :D Hillow Dada :D. Sunog. Hahaha!!! Bilhan kita ng Silka Papaya Lotion set.
Anyway, ayun, as always, may naisip na namang special thingy itong si Dada. Kaya ayun, kapalan ng mukhs, tinanong ko kung pupunta ang mga Atenistas. Alam ko kasi pwede sila dun umalis ng masmaaga... pero mali pala ako. Punta raw sila, at habang nagaganap lahat yun, nagbasketball muna kami nina Kei sa Timezone. At tumama sa mukha ko ang isang bola. Aray. Nagising na nga ako, ayon kay Cat.

Hayun. Umalis na ang mga kasama ko, at isang oras pa pala akong magiging mag-isa. Ayoko ng ganoon, basta, ayoko.
Pumunta ako sa Fully Booked, at tumingin ng libro. Lalo lang ako nalugmok dahil wala akong dalang pera. Hindi pa pala nakakasakay ng train ang mga Atenista, at paparating na ang sundo ko. Akala ko malapit na sila, kaya lumabas ako, at naghintay nang matagal sa may entrance sa LRT2.
Lipat ako from one poster to the other. Mga ten minutes before, naghahanda na pala ng shorplais si Dada. Kaya ayun, halp halp. Hintay ako...
Dapat matagal na akong umalis. Actually, umalis na nga talaga ako. Nasa may breadtalk na ko, tas bumalik ako ulit. Naalala ko, tutulungan ko nga pala si Dada. Pagdating ko duon sa may entrance, may isang matandang lumapit sa akin. Tinatanong paano pumunta ng Recto.

Sabi ko nga. Ayokong mag-isa. Kaya sinamahan ko na lang siya. Pumunta ako sa may machine, pumila kasabay si Lola, dinaldal siya, pinalitan ang 50 pesos niya, at kumuha ng Recto card para sa kanya. Habng ginagawa ang lahat ng ito, naruon na pala ang mga atenista sa shorplais place ni Dada. Ayoko nang magpakita. Nakakapagod na rin kasi. Well, at least nakatulong na ko dun sa nasunog (hahaha), kahit papaano (diba diba), hindi ko na naman kailangan pa makita yung iba.

Ayun. Nakita ko rin sila. Kaso lang, masyado na kong haggard at ewan, hindi rin ako natuwa, kasi nga, kailangan ko pa magsterilize, gumawa nang sangkatutak na edit at termpapers, bio... at asan ako? Nasa gateway. (Ang tunay na dahilan ay wala lang talaga akong pera. Hahaha! bwisit kung meron lang sana nanuod na ko ng nacho libre kahit mag-isa sa tatlong oras na iyon). Andun si Maggie, na agad dumikit, at parang, nababaliw na. Andun din si Diwa na agad na nagtanong, kung set-up ko ba ito. Plano, pakana, mastermind.
Ang labo. Indi naman ako bugaw. Matapos kong malaman na narape at nakunan ang mga nabiktima ko, makasasagot pa ba ako nang maayos sa mga bagay na tulad niyan?

Hay... oh well. ganyan talaga ang mga bagay bagay.

P.S. May conscience pa po pala ako.

Another P.S.

Parang gusto ko maging tulad ni Ginoo.

Maging doctor.

Niyanig

2006-06-16T09:37:00.000+08:00

It has just turned 6 o'clock. I wouldn't even bother to describe something about the hand of the clock
finally ending the afternoon.
No pizazz or whatsoever, what I have here is a digital clock.

On the way home, I've considered writing something about my friends,
not just the usual thank you's, instead, I have planned on converting my
gratification into words. Yes, the thought removed my all my "Paulinian" worries.
I now have something to look forward to besides sleeping on my homeworks.

I was just about to go upstairs when I saw some letters. I never really receive any mail from anyone. Besides from the existence of the mighty wormy electronic mail system, no one would even bother write me something.
When I was young, my cousin used to send me really pretty letters that resembled doilies and stuff. My, they even smell like potpourri laden doilies at that.
Now, I shrug whenever I think about letters... I barely get anything.
Well, people barely get any personal letter complete with stamps and more stamps these days. What we can see are bills, credit card updates, promos, and other concerns.

You see, I have this habit of looking unto the facades of envelopes we have here. You can blame J.K. Rowling for making the image of letters so amusing, complete with wax stamps and a ticket to the wizarding world.

"Marither Policarpio"
PRIORITY MAIL.

Three butterfly stamps.
Slowly, I traced the address using my fingers...

U.P. Manila
Office of Scholarship...

It says there that I am being considered for scholarship...

They have no idea that I had not registered... That I didn't take that chance.
Who'd blame them? With the idea that they are indeed the most prestigious school in this country, they would immediately think that they would be the students best choice.

That rarely would a student give up the dream of about a million other hopefuls for a seemingly notorious school.
They have no idea that I have traded their 6k tuition fee for some barely reasonable 33-60 k payment...
Payment for a professor who has this very impressing lecture : " you have the word: HUMAN REASON ALONE." What a word.
"One of them are the low stujens" (One of them are the law students)

But then, do not put the blame on me. We make separate choices, fix your life first before you give me a barrage of you-know-what. You see, choices are like opinions, there is no right or wrong if you are not the one making the decision. You can always assume, but you can never know entirely the reason behind every existence.

Kuya and the others are right... Must be His will...
Paninindigan ko na kung nasaan ako ngayon.
Some wrong choices can be made right, as long as we work hard to make it so.

I was supposed to write a "novel" about friends... But with that up letter, you might as well say that I have once again drained my resources.
So here, I'll just type a sentence or two:
"I can never replace you... Friends can be real, but rarely become true."

All Ends Swell. Haha

2006-06-09T11:57:00.000+08:00

A few hassle-free days ago, (yes, even before that triple 6 day), I tried to search for a blog... even though it spelled impossible. But then again, knowing that it is crucial, I tried to enter every keyword it could contain.
In a very similar fashion, I typed my name, which I believe is rare but not solitary. There in the very first blog I saw something about a man dancing in front of a girl who has the very same name. Yes, I do know that I do not own the name completely, but this reminded me to take care of its validity and use. I am the only Mari**** in campus, and perhaps, even for just a few hundred meters. Unless of course some silly someone christens his or her pet with my name. Ugh.
Seeing that that thought would never become as solid as reality, I guess, I have left the campus with a history of little red, general, and weird geeko after my name.

And so I saw two other blogs.
It seems I left them with a name which meant so much more.

Dated back in the prehistoric era (just about my Junior year in High School), a lower-year-leveled someone reminisced *my* first ever play. (** That was because it was my first time to join the club).

"Ang cucute at ang kukulay ng costumes. (Lalo na yung kay ate mari****)."

The initial mind entry was my General sort of role. I wore nothing but black, white, and a pony tail. Was that colorful enought for this seemingly color-blind lass?

Flashback. Retro play. As an entertainer (guitar player), I was required to wear a (literally) dazzling costume. And so I found my purple capris with retro prints, plain lavender tshirt and a really big shining shimmering splendid purple blouse which I tied upto the upper half of my torso + a side pony tail

Pwede na sa commercial ng Dazz. Or starwax. Grr.

I thought it was all over. But then, it seemed that I have indeed left some *shiny* mark...

"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today.

It's already tomorrow in Australia."

- Charles Schultz

2006-06-07T13:52:00.000+08:00

hallu